My Rights

I have been thinking about my rights as a human being.

Do I have a right to life?  Well, here in my community I believe that my right to life is respected.  I feel no immediate threats.  But, I also recognize that all that could change in a heart beat.  I could be the victim of a random shooting in a public place, a home invasion, a collision with a drunk driver.  And if I were to leave my relatively safe community and travel to other parts of this nation and world, would everyone recognize my right to life?  Naturally, cosmically, the universe offers no guarantees to my life, there are diseases that could threaten my life, accidents can happen.  My own body refuses to guarantee my life with the possibilities of cancer, heart disease, etc.  If I were given a certificate proclaiming my right to life, what value would it have?

I have a right to liberty.  Do I?  Maybe here, but what about anywhere I might go?  Am I completely free or have I given up some freedoms to live in a family, to work and earn a living, to be a part of a church or community?

I have freedom of speech, don't I?  My observation is that the higher one rises in an organization, the less freedom of speech he/she has.  Every word is analyzed, and so you have to be very careful and restrained in what you say.  Today I cannot say everything that I believe because of the impact it would have on my family.

My rights may be comforting illusions, ideals that still need to be fully realized in the world.  I will feel safer when all killing ends, when there are no senseless murders, police shootings, or executions.  I will feel safer when a person can say whatever is on his mind without being attacked by the politically correct.  I will safer when kidnappings, imprisonments, and slavery are ended.  Until the rights of everyone are secured, my liberties are illusions waiting to become real.  Fear is never liberty.

Our civil liberties, our human rights are ideals.  They are what we want to have, not necessarily what we actually enjoy.  That is why each of us must continue to be vigilant and defend our rights and everyone else's right too.  We must keep the faith and work to realize the ideals of human rights in our world.  As Martin Luther King said, injustice anywhere threatens justice everywhere.

I am grateful for the liberties I that have today, life, liberty, and my pursuit of happiness, handed down to me by the lives and blood of heroes, even if they are not absolute or perfect.  May I do what I can to pass these human rights to others, to everyone, and to the next generations.

a human-scale measurement

I have wondered what impact I have on the world.  I am not a powerful, charismatic leader, nor a scientific or cultural pioneer.  I am a pretty ordinary individual... just one of billions on this planet.

I believe humans are big brained primates that dig in the ground, pick up and pile rocks, and leave some litter around.  I have done that.  Evidence of my being here is the cairn in my garden.  It witnesses my existence.  I was here.

I am here now.

ad infinitum

What do I want?  Well, that is the question, isn't it?  Looking at everything I have, every experience I have had, every relationship I have had, I should be satisfied.  I have had more than my share of everything.  But I am not satisfied.

I want things to be changed in some way or I want more.  I don't think it would matter how much I had, I would either want something different, or more of something.

No matter how much I eat, I am never really satisfied, I want more.  If I lived for 100 years, I would want one more day.  If I had a billion dollars, there would be something I would want, something more.  One more thing, just one more thing, ad infinitum...

Marriage and Family... the Issues

Marriage and families are very important to Mormons and other people.  We defend the family from attacks that could desecrate and destroy the sacred institution.  Recent discussions and news reports have been on my mind and I want to explore this topic.

I recently heard the term "natural family" being used by some and protested by others.  What is a natural family?  I believe if we looked back in time we would find the natural family grew from individuals mating, reproducing and living with their mates, and children.  At first that seems very familiar, but, wait.  A person in such a family would would grow up to live with with his/her parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, children, and grandchildren.  This extended family would be living together or in very close proximity.  This I believe is the natural family.

I did not grow up in a natural family.  Any chance of the Martinsens living in a natural family was shattered by World War II, when all the men in the family left the Idaho home and farm and never came back.  Each settled somewhere else in nuclear families of their own.  Society, the state, and economics crushed the natural family long ago.  Today we can see remnants of the natural family in the Amish and other cultures struggling to continue in the face of economic pressures.  It can be done, but it is very difficult.

The nuclear family of mother, father and children, who will grow up and leave the home, is a truncated, radically pruned version of the family.  It is an isolated and socially deprived, unsupported organization.  I believe that both parents and children experience greater stress in such families.  The extended family, the natural family has far more internal supports and richer relationships.  I have only seen fleeting hints of the natural family in the occasional family reunions.

If we are interested in protecting and defending the family, we need to understand that the natural family has already been lost.  All we can do now is to pick up the pieces of that shattered institution and try to support them.  Those shards are the nuclear family (the "new natural family"), divorced families, step-parents and their families, single-parent families, foster families, adopted families, and all other forms of partnerships and guardianships.  If we conservatively try to define marriage and family, we risk marginalizing people who do not live with our definition; I can assure you they need our support.

Some discussions focus on same-sex marriages as the greatest attack on marriage and family.  I disagree.  I do not see same-sex marriages as viable reproductive units.  At best they are on par with adoptive families and step-families.  A child will never have more than one biological parent, genetically related to him/her living with him/her.  But, if we were to nullify and not allow same-sex marriages would that save the family?  No.  The vast majority of problems marriages and families would continue to erode the institution.  The problems the family faces are because they are made up of people, and people have problems.  People have problems with marriage and family because it is stressful living with others.  They lack skills they need to cope, they can be selfish, sometimes incompatible with each other, can have mental illness, can be abusive, etc.  Then there are external forces of economics and finances, jobs, etc.  Even in the nuclear family, individuals are often isolated and unsupported as they experience the problems and stresses of life.  Just think of bringing that first new-born infant home!

Among "us heterosexuals" there are plenty of threats to marriage and family.  Not everyone looks at marriage as a sacrament.  People fall in love and just live together.  Then, after the trial period, maybe they will commit to each other for a lifetime.  Some of us are serial polygamists, marrying, divorcing, and marrying again and again.  Married heterosexuals have premarital and extramarital sexual affairs.  We bring many threats to the family ourselves.  It is ironic that we think the greatest threat to marriage and family are people who want to be married.

So, why do LGBT individuals want to be married?  The rhetoric is that they just want to love who they love, but really that is only a part of the reason, in my opinion.  I step back and ask why do straight people want to get married?  What do we get out of it?

Forty years ago, I met Jean, we dated, we walked and talked together with intent.  I felt attracted to her, socially, emotionally, and sexually.  I "fell in love" with her, meaning that I wanted to be with her, mate with her, commit myself to a sexual bond and family life with her... and we got married.  Why?  Well, we were both clearly taught that sex was reserved for marriage, so only through marriage could we have shameless, guilt-free, acceptable sex with each other.  We received a ceremonial blessing and an elaborate celebration, gifts, and a state approved certificate of our special legal status (with tax incentives) when we got married.  Oh, and Jean changed her last name.  Everyone now recognized that we were committed to each other for the rest of our lives and into the eternities.

We could have just moved in with each other to have sex, a life together, and children without the ceremony, celebration, or certificate, but would everyone else around us be as sure of our commitment to each other?

Is this what the LGBT partners want?  They want to be free to love each other and they want to have the ceremony, celebration, and certificate; they want their sex to be shameless, guilt-free, and accepted.  And they want all the same legal status that Jean and I enjoy.  They don't want to hide in some affair, or just live together.  They don't want to just be "partners" anymore.  Again, it is ironic that the greatest threat to marriage comes from those who are fighting to be married.

And, again, as a homophobic, heterosexual, white, middle-class, 60 year-old male, I do not pretend to understand same-sex attraction, its causes or consequences.  As a biology major, I understand sexual reproduction.  So, I do not see same-sex marriages capable of creating "natural families" any more than single-parents, step-parents, or divorced parents can.  I suspect same-sex marriages will have many matrimonial and familial problems to face the best they can... hopefully, with love and support.

In my experience with children and families as a school teacher, counselor and administrator, I tell you there are a lot of different kinds of cohabitation and guardianship out there now.  The nuclear family is only one type of family.  I have have witnessed the challenges children have in these "families."  We may have ideals, but reality rarely approached those ideals.  We all have a lot of work to do if we are going to protect, defend, or save the marriage and the family.

So, where do I stand on the issues of marriage and family?  First, I believe that marriages are religiously, socially, and legally sanctioned sexual unions.  Now, people have sex outside of marriage, but they have to justify it themselves without the support of religion, society, or the state.  I believe that natural families have largely been bulldozed down by modern culture and economics, and replaced with all the other forms of families we have today.  I believe our corporate-owned, mass media is working very hard to convince us to accept all forms of sexuality: straight, gay, polygamous, and polyamorous.  The logical culmination of that acceptance would seem to be the legal status of marriage.  Will this be the progression of marriage and family or its degradation?  I don't know.

Ultimately, the sanctity of marriage and family rests in the minds, hearts, and bodies of every man and woman.  What I do, say, and think impacts my marriage and my family.  I have some work to do.

I am going to give Jean a hug.

What is ________ For? Looking for Purpose.

What is ___________ for?  We fill in the blank with anything and everything.  I am currently thinking about what people are for, but before I tackle that, I metaphorically step back and look at the big picture. What is the universe for?

Creationists and the Anthropic Principle tell us that the universe is here for us, conscious and sapient beings.  We are its purpose.  Well, OK.  Maybe.  Another, evolutionary point of view is that the universe exists as it does and we were lucky to evolve and adapt to existing conditions on this tiny speck of cosmic dust.  Looking down at this dust beneath my feet, I find dirt.  What is dirt, or soil, for?  Well, we buy bags of the stuff to grow plants in, so the purpose of dirt must be to grow plants.  But, in reality, soil exists because the earth's crust has been subjected to physical and chemical erosion, wearing the rock substrate down into this mixture of gravel, sand, silt and clay.  Plants and other organisms have adapted to exploit this environment.  Soil exists, and they have rooted themselves in it.

Now I fill in the blank with people: what are people for?  Well, maybe we have been created by God for a purpose and His representatives, prophets, priests and kings, will tell us what that purpose is.  Or, we evolved as very intelligent, social primates, communicating, grouping together in families, clans, tribes, villages, cities and states.  We naturally socialize.  We work and play, trade things, fight sometimes, and love each other sometimes.  We have a complex set of traits and characteristics that help us adapt to our environment and survive, not necessarily a purpose.

But those prophets, priests and kings certainly give us purpose.  Religions provide us membership in God's Kingdom and compel us to obey His laws and commandments, to live, act, speak, and think in a sanctified way, to pay our alms and offerings to the church, to proselyte, and to die in the service of God.  Governments make us citizens and compel us to obey the laws of the state, to vote, pay our taxes, and to go to war, to kill and die for God, King, and Country.

And now there are new prophets, priests, and kings in corporations to tell us what our purpose is.  We are consumers and must buy their goods and services.  And we must get jobs with them, work as their wage-slaves to produce all the goods and services that we and our fellow consumers must buy.  So we are exploited by corporations, by business and industry.

I am skeptical of the motivations of religions, governments, and corporations.  Despite all those who tell us what our purpose is, I believe that people are adapting to the world, the country, the culture, and the economy we live in.  We are all doing the best we can.

The Physical Challenges

Gravity, Inertia, Friction, Radiation, and Oxidation...

These are the physical challenges of all living things, and the great challenges of my life.  Just getting out of bed in the morning, I have to fight gravity.  Walking up hill to the mail box, I have to fight gravity.  Lifting each and every object, I fight against the omnipresent force of gravity.

And beginning any movement, any action, any task, I have to overcome inertia.  It much easier to remain a body at rest than to apply the force needed to begin, to change.  Inertia is a subtle but constant state to consider as I begin to do anything.

And once begun, I have to keep up certain level of force just to over come the effects of friction.  There is a constant drag on me.  I can't just coast!  And friction is wearing me and all my tools and machines down.  Friction keeps me busy repairing things.

Less visible, the chemical process of oxidation, rusting, corrupts things without out even using them.  We need oxygen to live, but it turns out that the very element we rely on also is poisonous to us at the same time!  We can't escape it, we just have to keep working to hold back oxidation's effects... keep polishing the silverware.

And radiation!  We are being irradiated by cosmic rays... the universe is hostile to us; we are being irradiated by the sun... it gives us light and life and then can take it away; and we are being irradiated by the earth itself... how can our Mother Earth leak radon gas into our homes?

So how do I face these challenges?  I get up.  I get moving.  I keep going.  I open the windows and breathe deeply and defiantly.  And, I go outside with a hat on... usually.  Life is all about overcoming these challenges as long as I can.

Small, Simple and Shy

I have seen others much greater than I will ever be.  I have seen the redwoods, I am but a dandelion.

I have heard others compose great speeches, epic poems, novels, and dissertations; I can barely write a paragraph, or string four lines together.

I have witnessed great courage, people plunging honestly into the battle knowing their opponents; I timidly hold my peace at the price of my integrity.

But, I will keep going the best I can...  small, simple, and shy.

just a thought...

Happy Back to the Future Day!

We Made It!

A Reflection on Time

When I was a boy I imagined the future with me in it.  I would be the one riding in rocket ships exploring other planets.  I was going to be the scientist, or the teacher, the philosopher, the poet.  Now I imagine the future, but I am not in it.  The future belongs to my children and grandchildren.  I know I will not be there.

It's a little sad.  I really want to hang around and see how our story plays out.  Will we get our collective heads straightened out to actually live together in peace on this shared planet?  I hope so.

It's only a little sad because I am living in a wonderful age as it is.  So many things that were only imagine when I was a boy are real now.  We are surrounded by miracles!  I can learn anything I want, travel around the world if I want, see anything I want.  Information explodes at my fingertips.  I carry a library in my hand.  I almost have no unanswered questions.  Art and music have transcended their humble pigments and acoustics to become ethereal.  Artists now can paint with pure light, and musicians compose with pure sounds.  And even more vital to our future, people are connecting to each other in ways that were not physically possible before.  Communities also transcend our locality.  People are becoming global citizens.  It amazes me!

I love being here now!

Why Are We Frozen?

Most of us have frozen our thinking, making our view of the world stable, consistent, and understandable.  It makes our world familiar and safe.  We will stick to our thinking, hold on to it with a death grip. draw our swords to defend it, unleash tirades to argue away all other views.  We love it when others agree with us, and hate it when they don't.

But do our static thoughts actually fit the dynamic universe we live in?  Our environment changes from moment to moment like the light and shadows on my wall.  The light changes, the wind changes, the seasons change...  even mountains change.  Why do we then try to put everything neatly into a box and say with all our hearts that this is the way things are?  Why do we try to stop the sun from moving?   Why do we think we can control the wind or the weather?  Why are we so satisfied with jars of peaches in our pantries?  Truth, what ever it is, surely cannot be bottled and put on the shelf.

What would happen if I simply let go of certainty, and admitted that I don't know, that I don't have the answers?  What would happen if I let my thoughts thaw out and become as fluid as water?  I don't know...

Dead End

There are times... when I just hit a dead end.  I can't go forward and I hate going back; so I stand here frustrated.

My 4-year old grandson does not have the same feeling about dead ends.  He explores every possibility of a maze.  He knows the goal is to find the way through, but he also does not want to leave every other path way unexplored and unmarked.  He visits every part of the maze with great delight.  In the end, you really can't find the one correct path on his page.

My son-in-law, I believe, does not look at dead ends the way I might.  He comes to the end of the road and looks at the opportunity to go off-road!  (He has a jeep, an ATV, and, if they don't work, hiking boots.)  Road?  He doesn't need a road!

Ultimately, it doesn't matter what the signs say, dead ends are just in my mind.  I will turn around and get on with the journey.

Just don't follow me thinking I know where I am going.

the problem of being connected

There is a problem with being connected to the rest of the world, to seeing global news on the TV and internet, and to knowing what is happening to others around the world.

I see innocent men, women, and children suffering, in the depths of deprivation because of war or natural disasters; but there is so little I can do.  I can donate a little to a fund to help.  I can write my elected representatives.  Really, I can do very little.  I feel my humanity being torn away from me as I watch these scenes reported in my living room.

If it were closer, I could offer my assistance, but it's on the other side of the globe.

Part of me would just turn off the news and cut the cables that connect me to the rest of the world... I would hide in the woods, living off the grid...  Would that restore my peace of mind or my humanity?

They say to think globally, but act locally.  That is doable, but it hasn't seemed to reach far enough.  I can see much farther than I can ever reach.  And that is the problem of being connected to the world.

My Sphere of Experience

I live inside a tiny bubble of experience.  Within this sphere are all the things that I can actually see, hear, touch, and otherwise sense.  Beyond my personal experience are the stories that I can learn from others.  Without being there with them, I have to imagine what they tell me about things beyond my horizon.  I have no direct knowledge of what they tell me, but if I can trust them, and trust my imagination, I can learn many wonderful things from them.

If necessary I can go see for myself, bringing the event witnessed by another into my personal experience.  I can look at any evidence that the person may have collected from the event he/she witnessed.  Lacking objective evidence, I can also check what is reported to me from beyond my bubble with what I have experienced, and maybe verify it (make it "true") for myself.  Perhaps more than one trusted person reports the phenomenon.  The least favorable way of verifying some claim is to compare what I imagine it to be with some other imagined thing.

It is hard to live inside such a small bubble of experience.  There are a lot of things that I just don't know... but a lot that I imagine.

Human: a simple definition.

Human: an animal that digs, moving dirt and rocks from one place to another.

I am an example of a human (at "Glitter Mountain," AZ)

Another example. 

ObamaCare

The Affordable Care Act, aka: Obamacare, has sure benefited us.  A high deductible health insurance policy that would have cost over $1,200.00 per month, and taken almost half our retirement check, only costs us about $300.00 per month.

Thank you everyone, for helping us have decent health insurance.  Thank you.

Interest Rates

Just me, but I would love to make more interest on our savings...  I don't know what effect it would have on the rest of the economy, but it would good for us.

The Alien Invasion Has Begun!

No, this little guy is not the alien...  the alien took his picture.

We scare ourselves with cinematic visions of extraterrestrial invaders.  They come from other planets for some resource that we possess in abundance (water, humans, air...), and they have no sympathy for us at all.  All these characteristics (except the other planet thing) sound very familiar.

We are the aliens.  Though our evolutionary history is from this planet, we left it long ago to live an artifactual life "above" this Earth.  When we first put soles on our feet, built fires and shelters, used weapons, and planted seeds, we separated ourselves from nature and our own planet.  Today we have created artificial entities, corporations and nations, to distance ourselves even more from the ecosystem and all others.  Our machines plow down trees, mountains, creatures of all kinds, and humans that get in our way.  We use everything and everyone to sustain our way of life; because our way of life is all that is important to us.

We are the aliens, and it is telling that we scare ourselves when we look at ourselves through others eyes.  We are the invaders, the predators.  We are destroying the Earth for the resources we need to feed our machines and our selves.  We are the conquerors and the conquered at the same time.  We are invading... resistance is futile...

Integrity

Integrity is the state of being whole and undivided.  In a social/ethical sense it means that one is not divided in word and deed, that what he says is what he believes.

Taken by my 2 year old granddaughter, Emma.

Integrity is a man-made concept.  My body is an example of integrity only in the grossest sense.  I appear to be undivided on the surface, all contained in my skin, my "person."  But a closer look reveals that I am at best a leaky bucket.  I have my cells, but I am also a vast, complex ecosystem of micro-flora and fauna.  I am living within a cloud of personal particles and bacteria, and I leave a pat of me behind where ever I go.  The very elements, atoms and molecules that make up my body are constantly being exchanged for new ones.  I am a cloud, a semi-stable, persistent whirlpool of stuff that I ate, drank or inhaled.

I doubt I can ever be integral.  My mind swirls with new ideas, hypotheses, and opinions with the influx of daily data from my experiences.  Though there is some continuity - I still recognize myself as me - I must say that my thought flow in a river that is never the same from day to day.  What I think today, I may doubt tomorrow.  Such inconsistency does not qualify me as one having integrity.

I hope that when someone wiser looks at what I am... a mosaic of many thoughts and ideas, a collection of experiences and actions, he or she might see an integrity that I have missed because I was looking far too closely.

As fuzzy, cloudy, and messy as I am, I am still me... just me.

simplicity

I believe in simplicity.  I believe believe in straight lines from point A to point B.  I believe in Ocam's Razor, that the simplest answer to a problem or question should be accepted.  I believe in human-scaled solutions to problems whenever practical.  I believe truth can be expressed simply in a few words, or maybe an equation.  I believe that even though there are over 100 elements, the "elements" of light (sunlight), water, and earth (soil) may sufficiently explain many interactions of my life.  I believe in simplicity.

Fear Tactics... not a fan.

I am tired of people threatening me everyday.  Start with religious leaders: If I don't toe the line, remain faithful to the reading schedule, the meeting schedule, and the service schedule, I will fall prey to the devil and lose my ticket back to God's loving arms.  The world is dangerous!  Seen and unseen enemies lurk only inches away to snare me.  And, the world is going to end next Wednesday, so you have a little time to get right with God before He destroys everything.  And, you better get on the right side of God because when Christ (the Prince of Peace) comes again He will lovingly destroy all the wicked.  Be afraid... be very afraid.

Then there are the politicians:  Our country is on the way down into chaos.  Our God-given liberties are being threatened.  Terrorists are crowding in on us, they are already in our midst, ready to release weapons of mass destruction.  The federal government is a massive conspiracy reaching into our lives to enslave us (So they all want us to elect them to take the helm of this great evil...)  Thank God we have our guns!  We are going to need them!  And it could be next Wednesday...  Be afraid... be very afraid.

It's too late for us to save ourselves from catastrophic climate change.  The polar bears are the first to go!  China will take over the world.  North Korea will rain destruction down on our capitalist heads.  Mexicans are migrating in taking all the really good jobs that we need for our children.  Common Core Curriculum is brain washing our children, dumbing them down so they can never compete with the Chinese, or the Mexicans...  Drugs are poisoning our society!  Guns are killing innocent people!  Cancer is killing us all.  The Sun may blow up!  And there's a monster black hole in the center of the Milky Way!  Be afraid... be very afraid.

First... do fear tactics really work?  As a junior high teacher, I found that the more I threatened, the more problems I had with kids.  Threats do not work.  Fear may be a motivator, but it can only be sustained for so so long.  Fear does not inspire anyone to do good works.  We just cover our butts and watch for our enemies.

And, I already know that I am going to die (hopefully not today).  I already know that I am not safe from the tribulations of life.  I already know that I am not as free as I would like to be sometimes.  I am already afraid of the dark, of heights, and of spiders...  I don't need everyone telling me that I am living on death row...

I hear all the threats, the fear mongering...  but I am listening for Hope, Vision, Values.  I am listening for Humanity.  I am listening to someone say that we have a great future ahead of us... that we can embark on a great adventure.  There may be risks, but we are up to them all.  Let's go!

still true...

I am STILL not voting for any of these candidates...

Problems vrs Solutions

I once tried to teach junior high students about the relationship between order and energy or work.  In a social experiment I had them put away books as fast as possible, while I timed them.  The books were thrown onto the the shelves in no order at all.  Then I told them that they had to be in order, upright on the shelves.  With the stop watch ticking away, the kids still hurried as much as they could, but they also communicated a lot more and there were a couple who rose to lead the process and insure that the books were indeed in order.

I could give thousands of examples.  Children naturally pull out every toy from the toy box and scatter them around the house.  A park naturally becomes littered.  Our houses become cluttered, as do our daily lives.  Disorder, or "chaos" is easy and may, in fact, be a natural state within many systems.  Order requires work and the expenditure of energy.

It is very easy to spot problems; it is a lot more work to solve those problems.  Creating "order," creating solutions, and fighting entropy requires more time, energy, work, communication, and leadership.   I believe it is a law of nature.

Hell is easy... Heaven on Earth will require a lot more work.  

We are busy!

The grandkids are here...  I have no time for posting today.

I am Just One

We are a way for the Cosmos to know itself.    Carl Sagan

Imagine that each of us truly is a part of a very very large array of physical, mental, and spiritual observatories.  Each on of us contributes to the image we can perceive of reality.  Each one focusing on what is around us contributes to a sharper view of the universe and ourselves.  I want to be apart of that vast human array.

Yesterday I drove to Layton, Utah to visit my Dad.  As I drove there and back, I listened to NPR... news and commentary all day long.  (I don't feel like turning on the news this morning...)  Listening to the experts, I realized that the world's problems are extremely big and complex, and no one really knows what to do to solve them.  I tend to cut to some simple, principled answer, because I am a simple man.  I notice that I am not really too different from anyone else.  Even though I listen to analysis, discussion, and debate that demonstrates the complexity of today's issues: Syria, ISIS, the fleeing refugees and migrants, Planned Parenthood, abortion, fetal tissue research, global climate change, etc., the solutions and reactions of experts, state leaders, and political parties are simple, principled actions.

I am just me... I am just one pair of eyes looking at the world and the universe.  What I have to say, what I think is just my thoughts, my words.  I do not claim to be right, for I know that I do not know everything, I do not see everything.  I speak up to share my perspective, just as I need everyone else's view to enhance what I can see.  We need each other.  We need to listen and to hear each other.

I am just one...  I need you all.

A Confession...

OK... I must confess that I am at least mildly xenophobic, specifically islamophobic, homophobic, racist, and misogynistic.  In short, I have a hard time understanding or totally accepting anyone who is not like me.  I believe that my attitudes toward "others" grew with me in my culture, and I am trying to progress in knowledge and understanding as my culture also progresses.  I hope one day to truly accept others and celebrate our differences, but I also believe that there will always be and should always be differences.  As it is I do not believe I am a bigot, because I tolerate all those differences and believe everyone should be treated with respect and kindness.

I confess that I am a part of the social injustices of the world.  I possess more than I need, I eat more than I need, I spend more than I need, while others are hungry and homeless.  I try to do something to help, but I don't know that I am doing enough.

I confess that I am a part of the degradation of the global environment.  My carbon footprint is far too large, and I have not yet attempted to significantly reduce it.  I still have to work on that.

I further confess that my lifestyle contributes to the "American Way of Life" used as an excuse to entangle our great nation in costly conflicts in the oil-rich Middle East.  I must bear my portion of the blame for these wars.

I confess to being politically conflicted, and maybe hypocritical.  How can I be anything but a socialist having grown up as a military dependent (with free medical care), and then working in public education, a unionized, government institution, for 30 years, and now drawing a pension from the state.  This certainly seems socialist in practice, but I try to deny it.

I could go on.  I could confess to a lot more things but, I guess I am confessing to being human... a flawed, part-of-problem, human.

I recognize that the burden of guilt I carry with me is a "first world problem," and it is nothing compared to the real deprivation and dangers faced by so many in the world today.  I feel I have the moral duty to find better ways to be part of the solution to the problems of the world.  The saying seems appropriate: if not me, who?  If not now, when?  If not here, where?

I confess that I have a long way t go...

 

I Felt It!

Yesterday at about 5:00 PM MDT my head shook involuntarily about three times.  I asked Jean if she felt anything... she didn't.  Later, I looked up seismic activity and there was a 3.3 earthquake near Grand Canyon Village, AZ, 148 miles away... at 5:14 PM!  I felt it!  That is one benefit of resting still in bed
all day!

(And no, I don't believe it is a sign of the coming "Mormon Apocalypse.")

I am looking forward to the rising moon tonight... full, supermoon, and lunar eclipse!  A "Blood Moon."

(And, again, no, I don't believe this is a sign of the Apocalypse either.  But Jean and I do have our food storage just in case...)

no post today

menieres...

(I took the day off...)

I Am Wrong... again.

You will remember that one of my philosophical tenets is that I am wrong.  I have had that made clear to me again this week.

First, when the story of Ahmed Mohammed, the 14 year old who was arrested for bringing a clock to school hit he media, I was one who "stood with Ahmed."  I stated on Facebook that this was an example of xenophobia and technophobia.  Since then there have more to the story revealed.  Ahmed really didn't do much "inventing" other than take an alarm clock apart and put it in a pencil case.  Then it is interesting that he showed it to his science/engineering teacher who told him not to show it around the school because others might think it was a bomb.  He ended up showing it to his English teacher and ended up getting arrested and suspended for bringing it to school.  Under Texas statutes he did create a hoax bomb because people could mistake it for bomb.  The interesting part of the story is that he explained his device to the science teacher but wouldn't really talk to the school administration or the police.  He didn't start talking again until the TV cameras were on him.  Then we find out that his father is an Muslim activist fight discrimination in the country.  There was more to the story than we were first told.

I jumped to a conclusion.  The fact is that I really don't know what the truth is in this story.

Tuesday evening we attend a public viewing of "Hotel Impossible" starring Anthony Melchiorri and Cedar City's Stratford Court Inn.  We watched the episode and then the owners and the manager told us about the behind the scenes events.  What we saw on TV was not real.  It was a dramatic story told for the viewing public's enjoyment.  It was not entirely real.  The real part was the actual volunteers that showed up to help the owners, and the actual renovation done to the hotel.  That was real.

The humble point I am trying to make is that I am duped as much as anyone.  I was (and am) wrong.

  

Welcome Pope Francis

Pope Francis has referred to this Earth as our "common home" as he calls for action on global warming (aka: climate change).  But of course the issues are broader than than that.  We are using up the earth, damaging our common source of air, water, soil, food.

The Pope has already, before he got here, provoked criticism from the right.  I don't understand how "conservatives" can be against the conservative management of our natural resources?  It's not all about money...

Welcome Your Holiness... thank you for saying what you say.
 

Who's In Charge?

I tend to use my experiences as a teacher, counselor, and school administrator to inform my beliefs about the world at large.  The last 10 years of my career as an educator were in an elementary school, and I got the privilege of being on duty on the playground.  It was interesting to watch children from kindergarten to 6th grade "play."

Play was serious work for them.  They would create games and "make believe" all sorts of things, which they took very seriously.  Their games became real to them, and important.  Friendships, alliances really, would form in play, but divisions and break up also occurred.  Arguments, fights, and rebellions flared up.  We adults would step in and remind them that it was all just a game, and that they could work out their differences, and make the games fair for everyone.

The world is a grand playground where we have been allowed to "play."  We make up the games, and all the rules, and make believe it is all real and important.  But, it often isn't fair, conflicts arise, arguments, fights, rebellions, and wars.  But, no one is in charge on this playground.  No one steps in to stop us from fighting, so we, taking our games seriously, begin to kill our opponents.  And still there is no one in charge...

Global affairs are very complex because people are messy.  We are not rational beings, and we all believe, we know we are right.  No one can talk to the others.  The best we do sometimes is shake our fists at each other.

While I would have us, the USA, take a very principled, high road in international affairs, I do believe that we would get involved in very messy games that others are playing.  I don't have any answers to foreign policies... Be strong, watch our own borders, be fair and just, and help others if we can.

It's too bad no one is in charge of our playground.

My Stand on the Political Issues

I am an independent voter... I do not like either political party and will not join either one.  I believe I swing from being a populist/socialist (as a public educator, how can I say I am not a socialist) to being a libertarian.  I have characterized myself as a "political agnostic."  But I do think about the issues, and below are my stand on some important issues.

• I want a secure and orderly society.
• Increase funding to police, fire, and emergency departments for better training, wages, equipment, etc.
• End the War on Drugs.  Legalize all drugs, let Walmart and other retailers sell them cutting off the money to violent gangs and cartels.  Shift spending from enforcement, prosecution, and incarceration to drug education and treatment.
• Bring our troops home to protect our borders.  Close all foreign bases, but develop true defensive technologies and rapid response strategies.  Let all other countries know that if the US is attacked, we will retaliate swiftly and decisively.
• Secure our borders, but also relax immigration.  Allow more people to enter the country legally.
• On principle, stay out of other countries' affairs.  Trade with them, but don't get involved in their conflicts... the only exception might be in the case of genocide.
• Continue homeland security, but make it more transparent.  Allow each individual citizen to see what information is collected on him/her.
• Gun Control will not work any more than any other prohibition.  Continue to prosecute and punish those who use weapons in any crime.  Allow lawsuits against any manufacturer, wholesaler, and retailer who it can be proven to be negligent in preventing someone from committing a crime with a weapon. 
• I want the Federal and State Governments to be secular.
• Strike all current laws that are based on religious doctrine, beliefs, or practices.  Keep every law that protect the free exercise of religion.
• Remove government from marriage, cohabitation, or sexual relationships.  The government should record vital statistics, not define what those relationships should be between individuals.  Marriage, civil unions, friendships, etc. should remain the domain of individuals, and religions.  Individuals should be allowed to designate any other individual as a life partner with all the rights and benefits currently given to spouses.
• Abortion should be legal, but regulated, and not funded.
• Contraception should be legal, but not funded.
• Assisted suicide should be legal, but not funded.   
• I want the government to promote the welfare of all citizens.
• Create a minimum income for all US citizens that will enable them to live comfortable lives.  Some funding will come from eliminating all other welfare programs, and Social Security.  Proceed taxes on all natural resources should also be used for this program.
• Offer free education to all US citizens and legal residents (tax payers) from Pre-K through 4 years of college or technology training.  Use a voucher system for all families/individuals.  
• Eliminate compulsory education, but the tie receipt of the minimum income to successful completion of education to job readiness.  For parents to receive the minimum income, their children must be successfully enrolled in school (public, private, or approved distance education).
• Create a national single-payer health system... or expand the Affordable Health Care Act to truly cover every US citizen and legal resident.
• Invest heavily in Infrastructure.
• Transportation
• Communication
• Safety and security, including preparing for natural disasters.
• Sustainable Energy
• Science, the arts, and culture.
• Parks and recreation.
• I want the Federal Government to be fiscally responsible.
• Create a flat tax on gross income.  Everyone above the minimum income level pays the same rate.  No exemptions, deductions, or loopholes of any kind.  Everyone pays.
• All Governments must keep a Balanced Budget.

These represent my stand on a few issues.  

My Philosophy, Part 13: In Summary

In summary... I have constructed a personal philosophy by examining what I have believed ("knew") with what I observed from my own experience.  I wanted to know what was real and true and to live my live according to that knowledge.

I came to the conclusion that REALITY is beyond my perception and comprehension, but I believe that it is very big, maybe infinite, very complex, and dynamic, always changing.  I came to a similar conclusion about myself: I am finite, but very complex and dynamic.  And that I am here, now.

I then concluded, after a lot of self-examination and the best observations and reasoning that I could do, that:

• I do not know...
• I neither speak the truth or hear the truth...
• I am not special; I am just like everyone else...
• I am wrong...
• I am not perfect; nothing is...
• In the long run, and in the big picture, it doesn't matter...

I know that my philosophy is shallow, I have not waded too far into the deep waters of philosophical debate.  In fact I am aware that I have purposely stepped back from many difficult issues.  I just am not that strong of a swimmer to get in over my head.  This is what I have done.  

This works for me.

My Philosophy, Part 12: My Ethics and Morals

There are many theories of ethics, what the good life should be, or how to decide between right and wrong.  I grew up with the standards of my family, school, peers, religion, and society at large.  I thought there was a universal standard of conduct, but as I matured and looked objectively around me at everyone's behavior, I found that much of what I was taught to be "good" was not actually practiced.  Every rule, every law, and every commandment seemed to have exceptions and loopholes.  Our collective ethics seemed to be situational ethics.  Everyone did what ever he or she thought was right at the time.

I believe there is a ladder of "imperatives."  Physically, I must have the space I occupy.  I must have a set of conditions present to exist.  Biologically, as a living organism, my imperative is to survive as long as I can, and to thrive as long as I can, so that I can reproduce.  Pyschologically, I need stimulation; I need to learn to have experiences and interpersonal relationships.  Socially, I must feel safe, loved and befriended.

For me "good" is what ever allows me to have existence, allows me to survive and thrive, with healthy experiences and relationships.  "Evil" either threatens or deprives me of those things.  Notice that I have only stated that "good" is for me alone; "greater good" would allow not only me to live a healthy, secure life, but everyone else too.  I am good if I secure my own welfare.  I am even better if I work to secure others' welfare too.  I know that ethics gets far more complicated than this... but this is the core: fulfill the imperatives.

On the social level, I believe I have a contract with every person I meet, even if it for only a second.  That contract is that neither of us will violate or threaten each other's life, health, security, or welfare.  On my part, I add that I will be cheerful and friendly to them, and will assist the other person if assistance is needed.

All that said, I believe that I have either free will or the illusion of free will to be able to make my own choices.  I believe that I choose (within limits) what I can and will do.  I also believe that every action has its accompanying consequences.  So, here is a Binary Ethics:

• If I choose X, what will happen?  (or if I chose X, what happened?)
• Is that what I want?
• if yes, then continue,
• if no, stop.  (and apologize, etc. if needed.)

And for a more Qualitative, Sliding Scale Ethics:

• Do I want more or less of this?

Again, I look at the consequences to myself ("good") or to everyone around me too ("greater good").

I choose to do what I want to do, and then must live with the consequences.  I can be totally egocentric, or I can be empathetic and social.  I choose. 

       

My Philosophy, Part 11: My Epistemology

All lies and jest, still a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest...  The Boxer, Simon & Garfunkel.

Epistemology is the investigation of knowledge, of how we know what we know.  I have already said that I know nothing... or almost nothing; but that does not let me off the hook, does it?  I believe that in the absence of knowing, I do what everyone else does, I accept as truth whatever I want, for whatever reason.

Some of my peers have an epistemology that weighs faith heavily, and they "know" their scriptures are true.  They tend to rely on the Holy Ghost to tell them what is true or false.  Others weigh empirical evidence heavily and call themselves skeptics.  They want evidence.  I tend to be a skeptic.

I accept as "real" what ever I experience that conforms to past experiences.  If I see, hear, touch, smell, or taste something that I can relate to form past experiences, I will trust my senses and accept the experience as being real.  And if I think I see something, I must have the additional experience of seeing it again, and hopefully for a long time so that I can make the mental connections to my previous experiences.

If someone comes to me with a claim of some sort, to "know" or to have a justifiable belief in that "fact," I follow the following informal rules.

• I listen... carefully.
• I ask the following questions: 
• How do you know? (which a very impolite question)  
• What evidence do you have?  (Can I see it?  Are there 2+ reliable witnesses?)
• Does this make sense?  Does it fit with my own experiences?  
• Why are you telling me this?  What do you want from me?  (If they want me to buy something... that is a red flag.)
• Then I judge the claims according to my values.  

In the end, to be honest, I believe what I want to believe.

My Philosophy, Part 10: Personal and Social Implications

So, my six basic tenets are:

1. I don't know.
2. I neither speak nor hear the truth.
3. I'm not special.
4. I'm wrong.
5. Nothing is perfect.
6. It doesn't matter.

Social Implications:  

But I really want to know, to hear the truth, to be important, to be right, to see perfection around me, and I want to matter in this world.  I want all these... and people know that and use that against me.

Advertising uses this all the time to sell their products to me.  "This [product] is the real thing!"  "[Doctors] all agree."  "You deserve this!"  "This right for you."  "The perfect fit!"  "This is important to you and your family!"

Politicians use my desires to get my vote.  "We all know this policy will ruin our nation."  "[The President] is misguided..."  "I will make America great again!"  "We have been following the wrong trail for the last eight years..."  "This party has the answers to our country's problems."  "I need your vote in November!"

The political parties promise me that if I join them: I will be part of the real solutions to our nations problems, I will hear only the truth, I will be a great American, I will be on the right side of the national debate, and that I will matter.

Religion, at least Christianity, points out that everything I have discovered about myself and the world I live in is the result of the Fall of Adam.  The church then promises me that if I repent and obey its teachings I will know, I will have the fullness of the Gospel, the Truth, I will be saved in the Kingdom of God, a covenant person, that God personally hears and answers my prayers, that I will grow and progress from precept to precept until I am perfected in Christ, and be numbered in the Book of Life as a good and faithful servant of God.  The church completely fills every flaw, gap, and deficiency of my humanity.

Schools, employers, governments all promise me rewards of knowledge, information, benefits and privileges, status, and position if I do what I am told, and do my job.    

The reason these tactics work so well is that no one knows any more than anyone else, but we all want to know.  We all want to hear the truth, feel important and special.  We all want to be right.  In the absence of real knowledge, we will pretend to know, and play a game that becomes real to us, and very serious. And we will follow anyone who can convince us that he can give us our most profound desires.  And they give us what we want for a price: obedience, financial support, etc.

I have to be very careful not to step out of line, or break any of the rules to the game.  If I disagree with those who know, they will try to make me feel that I am wrong, misinformed, stupid, or lying, and will put me in my place (less important).  I see this in every organization (every game I have played).  But, wait!  I already acknowledge that I do't know...  so how can they really put me down?  As Job declared his peers: "What ye know, the same do I know also: I am not inferior unto you."  (Job 13: 2.)

My Personal Manifesto: I am me!  Even if I do not step out of line, I am here because I choose to be here with you.  I choose to be here, now for my own reasons, in spite of your acceptance or your threats of rejection.  I am here, now!

Psychology

I believe that many of my frustrations, stress and distress come from holding on to imagined expectations and desires (like my plans and schedules) in the face of a very different Reality.  I react with anger, fear, and a host of psychological, physiological and social problems.  I have remind myself that Reality is what it is, and I can just accept it and go with the flow.

I believe that I am out of touch with reality (psychotic) and that is OK and normal.  I become stressed or distressed if I do not want, or do not enjoy, what I am experiencing.  I am self-destructive if I am distressed and do nothing to avoid the stress or correct the problems I am experiencing.  I am imprisoned or enslaved if I can do nothing to avoid or correct my frustrations.

The solution my personal psychological issues include three fundamental steps (that I may need help taking): first, accept reality (it is what it is) and myself (I am what I am) with all our flaws and limitations.  This first step often effectively works to relieve the stress.  Second, acknowledge my choices and their consequences.  I have to remind myself that I chose this situation, I am doing (or did) what I want.   And finally, to discover the choices I still have and make the best choice I can.  I am not a prisoner or slave...

Decisions:  Decisions are always made with insufficient information.  We have enough information we would be compelled to act in a certain way; there would be nothing to decide.  Decisions are always made emotionally.  Emotions trump reason, we can always make up reasons for what we do after we decided to do them.

My Personal Search for Meaning

As I have observed Reality seems to be very complex with everything interrelated in a vast network of cause and effect.  Nothing is completely spontaneous or random, there is always cause and effect, a set of reasons for the existence of anything.  We can always ask what, how, where and why.  Nothing exists in isolation; everything interacts with something else.  And everything acts or functions in a certain way; we can predict its behavior and the outcome of any event.  

I am a part of that web of relationships.  I am here, now, as I am for reasons.  I interact with others and have as much impact on them as they do on me.  I function, act, and behave in predictable ways that reveal to others who and what I am.  Just get to know me!  I make myself visible through the things I do and say.

I move and pile rocks.  I dig holes in the ground.  I plant trees and seeds.  I chop wood.  I build things.  I take pictures and write poetry.  I play roles given to me in many games: son, brother, husband, father, grandfather, friend, etc.  

There...  I believe, I imagine, I play, I create, I love, I hope...  I am what I am; I am me.

Another Manifesto:  I don't have to know everything.  I don't have to believe everything you tell me.  I don't have to prove anything.  I don't have to be perfect.  I don't have to do what you think I have to do.  I don't have to be anything, but myself!

Now, my wife is calling.  I have to go.

   

My Philosophy, Part 9: Imagine.

When I started my self-examination of everything I "knew" I committed myself to a search for reality.  I wanted to know.  I wanted the truth.  But I found that in the absence of knowledge, I would just make things up.  I would imagine answers to questions, solutions to problems, and visions of things beyond my view.  The problem was that reality seemed to me to be stark, harsh, and barren as the Sahara.  Every oasis turned out to be delightfully imaginary.  I fought this for some time until I realized that our imagination was one of the key character traits we humans share.  We imagine!

It has been said, and I believe, that animals live in reality, humans live in an enhanced reality created by our imaginations.  We have the realities of our lives, our births, our struggles and triumphs, our health and sicknesses, our family, friends, and our enemies.  We have the fortunate and unfortunate accidents, the weather, the seasons, the climate, and the geology and geography of our lives.  We have the sky above us and the Earth beneath us.  And over all this we imagine.  We have stories, visions, art, music, science, and religion.  We can see the reality of problems and imagine the solutions to them before we have actually created them.  We have design, engineering, and planning.  We create ideals, imagining a perfect world that may never be, but we continue to strive for it.  We imagine justice for all, peace, love, and faith.  We use our imaginations to look into the dark, to look beyond the here and now to a brighter tomorrow, and into the eternities beyond.  We imagine!

Compared to Reality, our imagination is a rich fertile jungle, castles in the clouds, trees of life and knowledge.  And many of our imagined things have been "realized."  We live in the sky, fly in the stratosphere, have gone to the moon and peered into space and into the very foundations of the universe.  We can travel much faster than humanly possible.  We can cure diseases that killed millions before.  We can turn on lights in our homes with the flip of our fingers, and then watch events from around the world in our evening news.  We have libraries in the palms of our hands, and can see and talk to friends and loved ones around the world in real time.  All because we imagine!

For billions of years reality was what existed, as I have said: Reality is what it is.  Reality was what we had to endure.  We simply had to live with it.  We  imagined a better world, but it was never within reach.  A better place was only found after we left this world.  We had to surrender to reality, and die, before we could actually find the world we imagined.  But now we are actually creating and recreating reality.  We have the power to create a heaven on earth.  We can imagine it, we can build it, if we have the will to do it.

For a brief time I wanted to abandon the imagined to find reality, but found that I couldn't and I really didn't want to live in just the real world.  I imagined too much more.  The imagined is not reality, but it could be.

Imagine!

(Post script: In mathematics I learned how useful imaginary numbers were... there are many problems that can't be solved without them!)

My Philosophy, Part 8: It Doesn't Matter

It doesn't matter.

In a few years I will die... no prophecy here, but surely within the next 50 years, and I am being generous with my life expectancy.  A thousand years from now there may be very little if any evidence that I have ever existed.  A few billion years from now the sun will expand and swallow this planet.  Eventually, the universe will end in heat death or a Big Crunch...  In historical, geological, or cosmological contexts, what I do doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter.

OK, let's look at what religion says.  I am a child of God and He loves me very much.  Jesus sacrificed Himself for me.  To return that love, I live His laws and trust in His grace.  In a few years I will die.  My spirit will enter its reward or penalty, but the test of this life will be over and my existence will continue in the new, eternal phase.  I will be resurrected and either return to God's Presence where all my life's sorrows, pains and struggles will be gone; or I will suffer for eternity and all me joys and pleasures of life will be gone.  A thousand years from now, will I be concerned about what I did today?  A million years from now will I still be beating myself up over some social faux pas?  Will I still be sorry I didn't make a million dollars?  Will I regret not having changed the world?  Will I care if my life is not chronicled in high school history books?  No.

It doesn't matter.

And then if I look at my life in perspective of the nearly 7.4 billion lives on Earth just now, I am not that important.

It doesn't matter.

It is humbling to realize that what I think, say, or do doesn't matter.   Again, I learn to not take myself so seriously.  It's OK to laugh at myself.  It's OK to try and fail, to make mistakes.  It's OK to be wrong sometimes.  And, it's OK to let things go even if I think I am right.  Knowing that in the long run...

It doesn't matter.

I have only here and now.  Here and now, in this tiny, human context of my life, everything I do matters very much, to me and to those around me.  I must love here and now.  I must live here and now.  I must be here and now.  I have no guarantees, no promises, no contracts, no rights to anything beyond this moment or beyond my own reach.  I am grateful for what I have, for my life here and now.  Everything else...

It doesn't matter.

My Philosophy, Part 7: Nothing Is Perfect.

Nothing is perfect.

This is more of an metaphysical, empirical observation than a philosophical tenet, but I am reminded of it every time set out to do anything.  Expecting things to be just so is frustrating.  

I have been taught in school and in church to strive for perfection.  While it is relatively easy to get 100% on a quiz, it is much more difficult, if not impossible, to write the perfect story.  I have found the whole concept of perfection to be the greatest enemy to my own endeavors than any other idea.  I have observed people striving for the impossible... perfection, and it robs them of joy and pleasure.  And, finally, in nature I have looked and never found the perfect stone, the perfect leaf, or the perfect creature.  I finally came to abandon the whole idea of perfection.  I don't believe it exists.

Perfection is a human abstraction, a concept, like pi.  Pi may exist in mathematical calculations, but it does not actually exist in the real universe.  There are only approximations of pi.  Perfection is the same.  In reality there are some amazing performances, unbelievable creations, and awe inspiring actions, but upon closer inspection, none of them are perfect.  That is why critics will always have job security.  And that is why I accept the Japanese philosophy of Wabi Sabi, and accept the transience and imperfection of everything.  I will never draw a perfectly straight line... and I am OK with that.  I will never be the perfect son, brother, husband, or father... and I am OK with that too.  

Recognizing that nothing is perfect means that there are no perfect solutions to problems.  There will be consequences to everything I do.  I must be prepared to correct errors the best I can, and then correct those errors in my corrections.  I also can find great joy in "good enough."  My creations are often rough and amateurish, but they serve their purpose well enough, and I can be happy with that.

Nothing is perfect.  In an evolutionary or eternal progression view, there is always something that I can improve.  I am never really done.  At any point I can say it is good enough, for now.  Tomorrow I may do a little bit better.  I can and will try to be a little bit better, but

I will also remember...

Nothing is perfect.

My Philosophy, Part 6: I Am Wrong.

I am wrong.

This is, admittedly, a paradoxical statement.  

To be right, I must know reality, perceive all the options and be able to select the right one.  I have to know what is right and choose to act accordingly.  But, I don't know much of anything; I do not speak or hear the truth.  So, I cannot claim to be right about anything.  If I am right about anything, it was just dumb luck!

I am wrong.

But, since I am not special, everyone else is just as wrong as I am.  I am OK with that.

When this realization came to me, I just laughed.  A great burden was suddenly lifted from me.  I was wrong and that was OK.  I didn't have to be right all the time.  I am now free to explore everything, to create anything, and not worry about whether it was right or wrong or good enough.  I didn't have to take myself so seriously all the time.  Of course it was wrong!  How could it be right?  I don't know everything.  Of course I am going to make mistakes.  And that is OK.   That is what repentance is for; that is what apologies are for.  "Excuse me, my mistake."  Being wrong is really what makes me human.

Now, I will say that I am really good at obeying rules.  I sit still in my chair, raise my hand to talk, stand in line without pushing others, drawing within the lines, etc.  I try to be kind to others, empathetic.  I pay my dues, taxes, and tithing.  I don't drive over the speed limit (any more).  I obey the law, follow the rules, and adhere to policy.  I honor my contracts with others, and I try to keep my word.  I am good at following the norms, mores, and conventions of society.  And I probably still try to be right.  But, I don't believe I can.

I am wrong.